AJH Psychology

Therapy - Counselling - Psychological Services

Relationship issues

It is clear that the evolution of human beings as a species has taken place in a social context. Indeed, since our emergence on this planet, humans have formed groups in order to survive. Being a part of a group of humans had a number of advantages such as protection, collection of food and mutual care. With this background in mind, it is not surprising that relationships between humans are so significant for all of us. Whether we choose to be alone or to be with others, relationships appear to be at the core of our existence.

Theorists have proposed that the most important relationships that we have in our lives are those with our parents or caregivers. It has been maintained that we make a blueprint out of the interactions that we have with parents and caregivers and, in turn, use those blueprints for all future relationships. Following this reasoning, it would be expected that a blueprint born out of a difficult relationship with a parent/caregiver will be a less useful tool when building future relationships. Additionally, there are other factors that may play a role in our relationships to others. Factors such as how we feel about ourselves or whether we think that we are worth the care and attention of other people, may also play a role in how we relate to others. For instance, if we feel that we are not worthy, we may welcome anybody into our lives, even a person who hurts us, as we may not believe that we deserve someone better. It is noteworthy that that could happen unconsciously. Alternatively, we may become excessively helpful towards others in the hope that they will do the same for us, which in many cases won’t happen, then leading to a series of disappointments. These two previous examples of attitude towards others will most likely result in unfulfilling relationships.

Difficulties in relationships with partners, friends, family members, colleagues or neighbours can lead to a number of undesired consequences. These include abuse, isolation, exploitation, increased vulnerability, and low self-esteem. When I treat people with relationship difficulties, I aim at identifying their pattern of relating to others, their sense of self and also I explore together with them the origins and impact of those patterns on their relationships with others. Most importantly, my goal is to assist clients to develop a meaningful and satisfying way of relating to other people. If you need help with relationship issues please contact me.